Up-All-Night Journal, Page 6

11:45 PM: This could be cheating, but I’ve only slept two hours, approximately. I’m back at home now, curled snugly in my room and in my bed. After all the students started leaving, I couldn’t tear myself away long enough to write. As more of them left, I could definitely feel myself getting more and more sad. The ends of things like GHA always awake in me a sense of how transient each chapter of our lives is. We have to take all the memories as we go and try to stay in touch as best we can, but things that start must always have an end, unless you happen to be some sort of perpetual motion machine. This is risking sounding clichéd.

Sekhar and I were the last two RAs to leave. Funny and poignant that he was fighting with dollies and losing stuff on them at the very beginning, and when I said goodbye to him today he was trying to hold the elevator open while a dolly was wedged between the door and his stuff was spilled everywhere. Would’ve made a possible good movie moment. I’m going to hear voices and see faces from GHA in my head for many months now. A Mike Burr wisecrack, Akshar’s Mr. Universe joke, Jeff dancing, Grace laughing, all the smiles from assorted people… Kathryn’s “Yessss” & enthusiasm… saying hey to Jessie on the way to Corbly every morning… Thomas’ outbursts of modeling poses… Ashley and I emceeing the talent show… Meredith giving me the Bretalicious nickname, Sekhar and his dollies, John & Robbie working in the office… man. So many good memories. As this chapter draws to a close, I’m definitely going to count myself lucky to have been a part of GHA on both sides of the spectrum. It’s just a completely rewarding experience all the way around.

I’m in a sense of calm clarity right now, as I finish the GHA Up-All-Night journal. What else is there to say? I’m going to miss it and everyone involved with it, but one thing I learned from my ’99 experiences is that you tend to run into GHA people everywhere. I’ll see some again soon, some perhaps never again, just like the ’99 crew—but the memories will remain, and GHA will still be a part of me. I was moping about the transience of things while I was packing up my car and walking the empty Buskirk halls, but we really don’t need to worry about it so much. I lived GHA; I was lucky to be here, but not it’s time to end it. I know when to fold ‘em. I sound a lot stronger about this than I really am. I was choking up while the students were checking out; I had to fake sleep to keep from breaking down. Watching my guys leave was hard; Grace made me sad the most. Drat her for crying!

I think I’ll look through my GHA pictures now and then get a real, full night’s sleep. As sleep finally reaches me after this wild and crazy night, I guess GHA 2002 will finally be over. Eyelids are definitely heavy now.

God bless everyone involved with GHA 2002, and sweet dreams to all of us, across the state, as we settle down to sleep…

-BS

Finis

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